Bridging the Gap Between Fear and Confidence

How Do We Bridge the Gap Between Fear and Confidence?

I often ask participants of my Speaker’s Boot Camp what holds them back the most? The number one response I get is FEAR. Surprisingly, it is not the fear of speaking!

I hear fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of disappointing others, fear of loss, even fear of success. It almost doesn’t matter how fear masks itself, it never fails to raise its UGLY head!

For most of us, we all have something that holds us back; something that keeps us from reaching the goals, the success, the professional position, the life you want. The life I want. It is something very specific in our minds, yet sometimes we can’t even name it. We just know it exists bigger than life. What’s the fear that holds you back? Can you even name it?

The problem is it controls us big time. THE BATTLE OF FEAR IS IN OUR MIND. IT MUST BE WON IN OUR MIND. It stops us from moving forward, it makes us frozen-unable to move, it keeps you from accepting what should be yours, claiming your success, having what is yours. It flat out defeats us sometimes before we ever begin! THE BATTLE OF FEAR IS IN OUR MIND.

The question each of us must face is how do we defeat the monster of fear?

I believe we don’t have a choice. We must erase fear from our consciousness. Failure is not an option. We have to find a way, a process, steps, a methodology that gives us the ability to bridge the gap from fear to confidence!

For me personally, it has been the fear of acceptance. The fear of being myself. It is a quiet fear that lives underneath the surface of my life, my very being. I have lived with that fear most of my life. Last summer I made a decision to remove the words fear and doubt from my life. I created a brand new mission statement for myself:

“FEAR NOTHING, SERVE EVERYONE”

Now I do my best to live by those four words. I have been on a completely different path since I made that conscious decision.

I came across a piece of wisdom that said, “Do not fear or be dismayed.” I must have read that line 100 times. I finally asked myself, what is the difference between
fear and dismay?

I found two definitions:

Definition of fear: An unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.

Definition of dismay: To deprive of that strength or firmness of mind which constitutes courage; to discourage; to dishearten; to sink or depress the spirits or resolution; hence, to affright or terrify.

Fear was more physical and dismay more emotional. This helped me to understand my fear and more clearly define it. In my mind it is hard to fight something I cannot define.

Here are the three simple steps that have helped me:

• Reset the mindset
• Take massive action – faith requires action
• Act fearless and receive the impossible

RESET the MINDSET:

The first thing I had to do was begin to reset how I thought, looked and acted toward fear. I turned fear thoughts into faith thoughts. I embraced the idea, “THAT NOTHING CAN INTERFERE WITH MY DIVINELY DESIGNED SUCCESS.”

When I focused my mind on my success, my goals, and taking the next step, instead of my fear, it began to lessen because I was not giving it my attention! I took the approach of starving my fear and feeding my faith in myself and my mission. I so believe we must protect our confidence at all cost. I started to see hindrances as opportunities and obstacles as stepping stones. I once read that fear is inverted faith. It is faith turned upside down! It made sense to me. I began to see clearly the path of my life come to complete fulfillment in front of me. There are no obstacles! This was and is a moment by moment process, for me. Training your brain to think differently is not a one time thing. A person becomes what he or she thinks about most!

The second thing I am now doing is following the GOD PRINCIPLE.

• FILL YOURSELF WITH JOY. JOY AND FEAR CANNOT LIVE IN THE SAME HOUSE.
• FILL YOURSELF WITH GRATITUDE AND THANKSGIVING. COUNT EVERY SINGLE THING YOU’RE THANKFUL FOR.
• FILL YOUR MIND WITH GOD THOUGHTS-WHATEVER IS PURE, NOBLE, TRUE, AND LOVELY. WHEN YOU GIVE FEAR A HOME IN YOUR HEART YOU ROB YOURSELF OF THE LIFE YOU WERE INTENDED TO LIVE!
• FILL YOUR ACTIVITY WITH FULFILLING YOUR PURPOSE, YOUR GIFT, YOUR CALLING.

By the time I filled myself with all those things, my mind, heart and actions were going at full speed in a forward direction. For me this was amazing, even as I typed this!

TAKE MASSIVE ACTION:

Notice I did not say take action. CONFRONT IT! STAND UP TO IT!

I remember being in a mastermind meeting and being coached about taking massive action! Changing your mindset takes constant awareness. I am blown away how easy it is to fall back into negative thought patterns. Taking action takes courage and strength. For me it takes physical strength.

Lifting weights at the gym seems less painful. I realized it was the action I feared as it was the result of taking the action. What if it doesn’t work? There’s that mindset thing again. Now I learned a process that was simple for me to do – take an action, reset my mind on the result, take and action reset my mind on the result, take another action and reset my mind on the result. Now the action seemed neutral and the result was exciting!

Much like Daniel in the lion’s den, CONFRONT IT, STAND UP TO IT! I was now walking up to my lions face to face. Now I feel like I want to run up to the lions in my life.

FOLLOW THE DON’T PRINCIPLE: MAKE A CONSCIOUS CHOICE TO “NOT TO.” DO NOT GO DOWN THE PATH OF “WHAT IF!”

Massive action for me now means taking 10 actions every day to move my personal life, professional life and business forward. I used to be happy with one action. Make a personal commitment today to commit to a number of actions that push you. Take the action now and reset what the result will be!

ACT FEARLESS:

Here’s the definition of fearless: lacking fear, bold, brave, courageous, valiant, lionhearted heroic, daring audacious, undaunted, unflinching.

This will sound crazy to you, when I felt the pit in my stomach and my heart race this is when I knew I need to take action and act fearless. Letting people see my weaknesses has always been really hard for me. My parents never got mad at me. They were always disappointed. I hated that! So I found someone I could be real with, faulty with, someone I could make mistakes with.

One of the ways I acted fearless was to I reach out and find a coach and mentor: someone to hold my hand, stand beside me, walk with me, guide me and shorten the learning cycle. The results were a new definition of myself, a new confidence in myself, and a stronger faith muscle! My coach has been a life changer for me. Invest in someone who believes in you. You cannot fail if even one person believes in you.

Mentorship is stronger than coaching. Mentorship to me, means not only a time commitment, it includes an emotional commitment!

The results have been amazing in my life. I want you to have the same amazing results!

Take the steps one at a time. Define your fear, reset your mind to the end result, take massive action toward that result, and act fearless to find the support you need!

Dedicated to you and the belief of “Fearing nothing and Serving everyone”

Let me know your thoughts and ideas!

All my best,
Bart

The additional info I added comes from God Is My Success — Transforming Adversity into Destiny! by Larry Julian